PICKUP LINES IN THE TIME OF COVID-19

Many people got creative now that they have a lot of times on their hand with having no places to go, to job to earn money from, nobody to hang out with, too.  Musically-talented ones wrote song parodies and even perform with guitar and such.  Heck, I myself took a shot at cartooning but I am not rich yet, still waiting for that rich patron to visit my Patreon web site.  I still have another cartoon idea but how about some puns and such.  There's a list of Covid-19 pickup lines going around so I decided to make my own lines.  Not that I need it, just something fun to do with the extra time on my hand.

COVID-19 pickup lines

Roses are red
Violets are blue
When pandemic ends
Let me be your boo

With curves like yours, I wouldn’t flatten any

How do I love thee?
Let me count the plies

I want to be forward with you
That’s just how my TP rolls

We are made for each other
Like macorona and cheese

I hope it’s only your smile that is infectious

With ventilators in high demand, I am afraid to look at you because you are so breathtaking

Let me serenade you while you wash your hands

I see you have P.P.E. but don’t you need some T.L.C. also?

I am sure under that N95 of yours there is a pair of luscious lips smiling at me.

How To Wake Up at the Time You Want To Wake Up at

At one time or another, my web-surfing landed me at one of those how-to sites, like eHow.com. While some entries provide useful, step-by-step instruction for some complicated process, others are just outright comical. In the attempt to cover every possible scenarios, the entries would spell everything out, from the subtle to the ridiculously obvious that any sane person should already know. Here's my own concoction on the topic of How To Wake Up at the Time You Want to Wake Up at.

• Use an alarm device. This can be a regular desk alarm clock, a clock-radio, or common these days are cell phones or smartphones.
• The louder noise the device can make the better. I no longer have trouble getting my son out of bed for school ever since he started to use the train locomotive clock his aunt sent him. It can wake the dead, supposedly.
• If you use a cell phone, be sure it is not set to Vibrate mode.
• Make sure the alarm device is properly charged or has reliable batteries.
• It helps that the alarm device is out of reach so that you have to get out of bed to shut it off.
• Sometimes we just ignore the alarm and instead want to know what time it is. In this case, it helps to have a time device nearby.
• If you are nearsighted like me, wear a watch to bed so just a flip of the hand and you know the time.
• If you normally share the bed with a spouse/partner, if the thing you want to do in the morning is important enough, consider sleeping separately just that night. If not, it might happen that neither of you have a headache that night, one thing leads to another and you end up staying up late.
• It definitely helps to go to sleep early if you want to get up early the next day.
• Do not drink coffee, tea, or energy drink before going to bed.
• Do not be On Call at work - you might be dragged out of bed any minute of the night.
• Read a book, newspaper, or magazine. Traditional, wood-based kinds, that is.
• At the time you are supposed to sleep, do not log into Facebook etc. One game, one email, one status update... they all can translate to many hours into the night.

There you have it! Now it's time for me to sleep...