A Literal Pain In The Butt

Once, there was this kid who
Took a trip to Singapore and brought along his spray paint
And when he finally came back
He had cane marks all over his bottom
He said that it was from when
The warden whacked it so hard

So sang "Weird" Al Yankovic in the song Headline News, which is a parody of The Crash Test Dummies' song called Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm. I didn't just come back from Singapore but my bottom is pretty painful nonetheless. That's what I got for not acting my age. I went ice-skating with Son and cousins in Wollman Rink in Prospect Park, Brooklyn. I thought that ice-skating is like bicycling, that after x years not doing it I would just pick it up again. I expected my left foot to feel tired because I can only skate on one foot, i.e. push with the right and glide with the left. Well, I learned the hard way that ice-skating is not like bicycling and that it's a literal pain in the butt. The first time on the rink after more than ten years not skating, I had to hold onto the railing one time around the rink. I soon discovered that the skates were not a good fit and changed for a smaller size. That helped somewhat and gave me some confidence. I was able to actually moved around a bit without but then started to have some nasty falls. So much for trying to be a good model for my Son, who never tried skating before. He did the right thing and left the rink with just one walk around it. He said he would give skating another shot next weekend but I know for sure I will need more time for my old bones to recuperate.